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Official sequel to The Aveirah Song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1-f9p4kmbg iTunes link (proceeds to Yeshivas Lev Aryeh) - http://bit.ly/TheChumrahSong Also available on Google Play, Amazon, etc. Summer 5773 Lev Aryeh Bein Hazmanim project Original song and music video by Lev Aryeh bachurim. Filmed on an iPhone. http://www.levaryeh.com Lyrics: I'm so frum... I never shave, not even with a trimmer, I keep the Three Weeks ah gantzeh zimmer, I bring a mezuzah wherever I travel, I tie knots in my tzitzis so it doesn't unravel, I am so frum, that everyone is jealous, I say lashon hara all day, lito'eles, I switched tuna bagels for cream cheese and lox, When I see a car on Shabbos, I throw at it rocks, If a lady is driving I never yield, When the Rebbe throws apples I play left field, I don't learn gemara 'cuz goyim lived in Bavel, I cover all my mirrors just in case I'm an avel. CHORUS I didn't look in a thesaurus, So I have no words to put in the chorus, I'll just tell you more 'bout what a tzaddik I am, All of the mitzvos that I'm mekayem. When I go to the mikvah I turn off the heater, I don't even know who is Derek Jeter, And when I go to the mikvah, to make sure it cleanses, I pull out my teeth and take out my lenses, If my wife boils water that's not Badatz, I make her buy a new set of pots, I don't put chrein on fish, of any species, 'Cuz I'm choishesh for bishul, even from kli shlishis, If I see a sheretz I would never touch him, 'Cuz when mashiach comes I'll have to eat kodshim, Between fish and meat I drink a bottle of bourbon, I knocked down my whole house, zecher l'churban. CHORUS As you can tell, I'm Hassidic, So I don't know how to write a lyric, So I'll just sing, and you'll get a rush of, Respect for me, 'cuz I'm so chashuv. I stole a diamond ring from my Tante Bailah, Just to be mekayem "Vehaishiv es hag'zailah", I eat chulent yeder murgen, mitt-tug, un nacht, I walk in the ga'as with my oigen farmacht, I teach my kids that ham is mee'yis, I don't mish on Paiysach, or Sikkis, or Shvee'is, Pesach Sheini I use a new set of keilim, I don't play chess, 'cuz the king has a tzeilim, I don't eat marror, 'cuz I'm choishesh for bugs, When I see my bubby I don't give her hugs, My shiur for matzah is fifty k'beitzim, I sit down everywhere, that's not a moishav leitzim. CHORUS There's a goy named Boris, but I don't know him, So he didn't write for me a poem, Instead I got help from a yid named Baruch, To write my own chelek of Shulchan Aruch. When my wife buys a sheitel I pour on it bleach, On the maps in my house I cross out the beach, I daven shiminessra for at least an hour, I wear my koppel when I take a shower, I beat up my kid if he's not the best in his kittah, Everything I do, I do it b'shittah, By Reishis Hagez I give more than reishis, By Aishes Chayil I don't say "Aishes", In the sukkah I make sure to keep my toes in, By the Kosel I rip everyone's hoizen, L'chumrah, I made all my kids become gayrim, Every day I put like ten people in cheirim. CHORUS I really didn't write anything for this one, Yada bada booda, something something... On my phone I have an anti-Internet app, And from now on I don't sing my songs in rap.
